If you want some dark academia in your European vacation, look no further than Edinburgh. Big, imposing stone buildings, medieval and neoclassical architecture, cobblestone streets begging to twist your pitiful american ankles, and lots of book stores and cafes. There are also tourist hordes here, but it’s shoulder season and thus there are fewer, so I’ll take it. I have two full days here and I am going to walk my feetsies off, especially since we are staying on the other side of the the big ol’ hill with the castle, where all the things are located.
Last time, we did the castle and the national galleries. It was also crazy rainy (storm Babet??), so we didn’t walk around the city a ton. This time, I visit the rest of the stuff on the Royal Mile: the 1.1 mile stretch which is where all the stuff is, from the Castle on top to the Palace on the bottom. I love how almost all of the major things are together in the center, which doesn’t always happen. The bus and tram system is easy peasy if you need it too.
First up for me: St Giles Church. It’s been on this site since the 1100s and, naturally, has burned down at least once. Notably, there are no people buried under the floor, so you don’t walk on really old gravemarkers. This place would be pretty safe in a zombie apocalypse. It has some incredible stonework and beautiful stained glass. It’s grand, but not ironically ostentatious, as some churches can be. My favorite part is the long fall light making the stained glass extra beautiful to behold.
I meant to go right to Holyrood House, but I got distracted by the nearby Scottish Parliament Building (and also detouring into the Maker’s Market for Trinkets), which is a superb, unique building. It’s an assembly of several buildings that are all kinds of different, flowing shapes, or are adorned with various patterns that evoke a Scottish national identity. You can go through security and wander around inside, where they have a little display on Scottish identity & history through modern politics, with a heavy subtext of “f u, england.”
Just outside of the parliament building is a very large bit of rock/hill you can climb, which is supposed to offer you a great view of the city. I consider if I had time to power walk up this thing AND do holyrood AND meet my friends at the national portrait gallery at two, and wisely decide to just admire from the bottom. I’m already in trouble with that 2pm timeline anyway, since I squirreled inside the parliament building.
Anyway, the Palace of Holyroodhouse, which is where the British monarch stays when visiting Scotland and when NOT being at Balmoral. First, what a name. “Holyrood” or “holy rod” is an old way of referring to a cross (with a few variants behind what kind of cross it is specifically, my Bible Lore x European Christianity Lore is not this deep). This place started as an abbey and was added onto during the early 1500s, when a Scottish King James was marrying Elizabeth Tudor in the adjoining abbey.
It was built around a quadrangle, which – YES – is the long version of “quad”, like what college campuses have. QUADRANGLE. This word is utterly ridiculous to me in an irrational way. It sounds like I made it up but it’s not charming like all my words are, and yet there it is, existing, and being legitimate English. Some people hate the word moist, and I hate quadrangle.
Quadrangles aside, this place is ornate, filled with lots of cool art, and the audio guide is pretty decent, giving you the history of the place and the significance of the artifacts and jewelry. Of course, our girl Mary Queen of Scots lived here for a time, and her crappy second husband decided he thought she was having an affair with a friend, so it also shows you where he was stabbed. NEAT. Shoulda picked the bear, Mary. No pics inside, but I did take some of the abbey next to the accursed quad and of the gardens.
I am definitely late to the Scottish national portrait gallery, but impressively, only by a half hour (the cost of the Parliament stop!!). The portrait gallery’s collection offers you a history of Scotland through portraits of influential people. This means there are zero creepy baby Jesuses, and there are some really gorgeous paintings of modern cultural influences, alongside lords, ladies, and queens. It is also not too big, which I love.
On our second day, I have fewer activities, but they just take longer. The day started with a very cute cafe stop to meet a nail friend – the cafe was in a very fancy restaurant in a very fancy hotel, but the drinks were not very fancy prices. It has a “recommended” dress code of “smart casual.” Yeah, I can’t help that I come from the states and I dress like I’m gonna go on a hike, ok? You’ll still give me a tea.
Tourist activity number one: the Real Mary King’s close. As an English speaker, you may be asking – close – which close? Close like “close up” or close like “close the door?” Well, here is your answer, because it’s close like this:
Close means alley in Scots, and there are loads of them all over the city, especially on the Royal Mile. This one was sealed over when someone decided to build the Edinburgh city chambers over it. You can’t take pics in it as you are beneath a government building, but you do get an excellent souvenir photo at the end.
Mary King’s close is one of two closes named after a woman, and the tour of it tells the tale of Edinburgh in the times of the plague and how people would have lived in plague times. Of course, it is run by actors, and is equal parts slightly campy fun and quite educational. You learn how they take out the toilets, how people lived and died with the plague (mostly died), and of course, how higher-class folk lived, as our girl Mary Queen of Scots actually stayed in the close for one night.
The tour was super fun – and it has the best gift shop in Edinburgh if you are into creepy or darker histories. And of course, we could not resist our photo!
Our final activity was the Scottish national musem. Arielle and I dawdled too long in the fashion portion and then had to semi-rush through the bits we wanted to see. I don’t regret dawdling, because I love textile and fashion exhibits. Highlights for me included the taxidermied Dolly the sheep, a natural history of Scotland’s geography, and the collection of stabbers in the Scottish history section. They had a massive ceremonial claymore! You could easily spend two half-days here – there’s a lot to take in.
I am very sad to leave Edinburgh and I probably could have done a few more days here. I’d love to go see the Royal Yacht sometime and poke around the libraries more. Bittersweetly, it’s back to Ireland for me to finish out our trip. Fortunately, I did solve my “oh god we’re on the other side of the hill from the station” problem: it’s a small old volcanic cone. I simply go around it. No crazy uphill slog for me and my luggage!
Here are some very important personal statistics about my time in Edinburgh, to round us out:
- Times I ate toasties cause I was left to my own devices: 2 (every single time)
- Amount of Cadbury marvellous mashables bars I bought: 6 (or more…)
- How many more kilos my luggage weighs at the airport vs when I arrived: 7 (hey, I had to cart back some electrolyte drinks along with that chocolate….)
- How much space my niece’s Hairy Coo stuffy takes up in my suitcase: almost as much as a pair of shoes
