Perhaps somewhat shamefully, for all my time in Japan, I have only recently been enjoying onsen (hot springs) resorts. You can find a lot of more affordable hot springs that have public baths for cheap, but being a diva, I want to have a fancy hot spring in the room and traditional course meals.
And so that is what we are doing in Beppu, which is very famous for its hot springs and boiling volcanic mudholes (like iceland and its satanic stinky mud pits) and is really kind of like Wisconsin dells but Japanese tourist kitsch.
I love finding the kitsch in other places – it’s fun to see how locals like to travel.
The Beppu part of our trip is based off two things: one, I saw a reel where the Beppu station announcer goes “beppUUUUUUUU” like hot steam, and I wish to experience that with mine own ears. Two, I saw another reel about this specific very nice fancy ferry (the MOL Sunflower), and I also wish to have a fancy balcony and enjoy the Japanese vibes of the boat.
Putting the two together gets us to “take the ferry to Beppu”, and so begins the “I saw a reel on Instagram” part of our trip.
The boat from Osaka is super lovely but I have only one picture of it in the driving rain. Pls enjoy.
Inside the Sunflower is a lovely combination of all things Japanese – traditional patterns and motifs cover every corner. It has a grand staircase that gives titanic vibes (there are no icebergs on our route, so fear not) and we’re up at the top deck.
Our room is a spacious suite, paired with a relatively large-for-a-boat bathroom. We are plied with Infinite Goodies and cookies and teas and things you could pay for in the gift shop but we don’t. I keep the slippies and the tiny towel because why not?
We have a deck and I yearn to go out on it, but it is Seriously Japanesely Raining out, and I get sprayed in the face as punishment for even trying.
For a very measley 17 bucks a person, dinner is an all you can eat buffet. The quality is super high and features a lot of local dishes. The best part is the chocolate fountain. One lady lost her marshmallow in it. RIP.
We are still very jet lagged and fall right asleep, though we’re awakened by the ship totally booking it in the wee morning hours. I remember our ferry to Oslo also doing this, I suppose it’s safer to go real fast when the passengers are probably asleep. As I have to take my diuretic at night due to the time change, this makes going to the bathroom with my very full bladder in the dark a really thrilling endeavor.
Thankfully, there were no injuries.
We returned to the buffet to feast for breakfast. It’s 750 yen for all you can eat. That turns out to be five bucks. You cannot get food this good for five bucks at home.
More importantly, there are vegetables for breakfast. I heap my tray full and pray for good poopin. I have my friends try natto (fermented soybeans). Natto is usually disliked almost universally by foreigners – it’s a bit stringy and stinky.
Patrick of course likes it. Nathan is not a fan. I don’t spit it out immediately. I’ve decided this is character growth on my part.
After breakfast, it is very sadly time for us to disembark. At least we can enjoy the sunshine from our lovely deck as we pull into port. It’s a beautiful day! It feels like early summer, there’s no chill to the air.
Since it’s too early to do things, we stow our luggage in the station and head to Beppu tower and the nearby beach. We stroll, we bask in the sun, we look up at the hotels and randomly see a naked dude standing in the 8th floor window. Hello, sky weenie. The show was brief, as The Weenie was hidden in shorts the next time the dude came up to the window (yes, of course we waited for an encore).
Nathan decides to walk around with his shirt off for a bit and gets called Justin Bieber by a local. This was definitely in admiration, because the guy said he was badass in Japanese to his friends as we walked away.
And lo, this is how Nathan became Justin Bieber for the rest of the trip, and perhaps every trip in perpetuity.
Anyway here’s the little beach & park:
It’s now time to go up the Beppu tower! Tower sightseeing is A Thing in Japan, and there’s an association that links them all together. Generally they’re working or out of use radio towers that double as neat ways to see the countryside. You go up it, you get a stamp, you see the things. Neat! The most iconic is Tokyo tower, which was dwarfed both metaphorically and physically by the Sky Tree. As some kind of revenge, the Sky Tree is NOT in the tower association. Shun, complete.
Beppu tower’s observation deck is on floors 16 & 17. It’s a mighty fine day so the view is really pretty. We can behold the giant Donki from above! We also look for a second show of The Weenie but it is nowhere to be seen. Rats.
They’ve got a small shop and cafe on the observation deck, and you can pose with the little plush version of the tower. There’s naturally a black light tunnel and a little keyboard that lights up and plays music when you walk on it.
The Japanese kitsch begins and I love it.
Our educational stop for the day is at the Bamboo craft center. Beppu and its prefecture are known for their abundance of bamboo crafts and extremely high workmanship of bamboo products. The museum takes you through weaving methods and showcases some really intricate and creative pieces. Some of the patterns freak my bean.
Lunch is Beppu’s Food Thing, jigokumushi (hell-steamed) food. The restaurant dedicated to it has a 90 minute wait, so we settle for street food of boiled eggs and sweet potatoes and corn (I don’t want to spoil my appetite tonight). I wonder if it tastes like satan’s butthole (sulfur, obviously), but it doesn’t!
Before checking in, we made our rounds through Beppu’s various hells – bubbling, boiling, rumbling pits of sulphur. It really is like Satan’s Butthole in Iceland but far less smelly, and a lot more manicured. Each Hell has a Thing that’s around it.
One of them was gorgeously manicured, almost like a temple – and it had a tropical fish house (totally random but ok??)
The second one we visited was so big it had different “neighborhoods” of hells – different colored bubbling pits. It also had a spot where you could pay 10 yen to drink the spring water (I did, and ew, and Patrick liked it) and inhale the steam for your health (it was fine).
It also does the jigokumushi food and has a guy that makes the pits bubble more when he blows some smoke from incense (? I couldn’t catch what it was) on it.
The final one was our favorite – on top of being super manicured, it had a foot bath!!!! YES! We soaked our weary feets. Blessed day.
Time to check in to our crazy hotel. We’re staying in a remodeled tea house with a cypress bath tub and an outdoor zen style tub. It’s divine and peaceful.
I notice the hotel freebies are Bvlgari and later spy an Aston Martin artisanally parked in front of the inn. Yeah I’m too poor to be here. I take a free hotel brush out of shame so I can at least clean up sorta nice.
They give us yukata to wear to dinner and of course we do this thing. While we don’t do the set meal (Kaiseki), we get the Teppanyaki dinner, with a Japanese-style breakfast. We have a leisurely morning and we soak up every second of our splurge before heading out to Nagasaki.
Bye bye beppu and kannawaen.
PS my brush was the forgotten item! Mystery solved.