Ok, not every day – and in fact my first time snorkeling since I had gone in lakes as a child – but Friday was our last day in Montezuma and we finally were doing our guided snorkeling tour. Alas, I won’t have many pictures of our underwater adventures, as I thought it was a bit too extravagant to pick up a GoPro or similar underwater camera for just one day…regrets.
The weather was pretty calm but windy, and our guides assured us that the water at Tortuga Island was going to be clearer today vs the past few days. I guess we are geniuses going today – good job, us! The waves were big due to the wind, but we made it out to the island without losing any humans. We did lose someone’s hat, and the boat of course turned around and went back for it.
Our tour guides kept us well fed with watermelon and pineapple and seemed to have an endless supply of beers on the way out to the two islands. They handed out the snorkeling gear and encouraged us to wear life vests if we felt we needed it. Maybe I would – I would like to not be eaten by sharks – but I hesitantly flopped into the seawater face-first without one.
It was surprisingly easy to stay afloat with minimal effort as long as you were willing to keep your face in the water most of the time. It was salty if you were a noob and failed to keep your snorkel in your mouth properly, so I mastered this quickly. Bleh, salt water. Salt hair. Salt everything.
The water was clear, and we saw loads of fish swimming in schools and around the rocks. Keeping in mind I am mostly blind, I have only this chart I stole from amazon to show you some of the fish we saw.
- Lots of blue fish like the Blue Tang Surgeonfish (I think)
- Some clams
- Many varieties of Butterfly fish
- Small fish that might have been parrotsfish?
The blue fish seemed to be fond of bumping dopily into rocks, and most fish would dart away if you tried to get near them. The smaller fish swarmed in schools of flickering light cast by the waves above, as if caught in some magic of a pixar film. Another part of the group spotted a shark swimming around, but we didn’t get to see it 🙁 We also did not find Dory. I became envious of the GoPros the college kids had.
At the second snorkeling island, I realized I had a very grave problem: I really had to pee. Not the kind of pee that can be ignored – the kind of pee that comes from having had batidos at breakfast and then a beer and a lot of water in the morning and deviating from your normal bathroom routine.
I would have to pee in…the ocean. With the fish pee. And humans.
Peeing in the ocean is hard work. You can’t just get rid of all your pee at once – you have to like…make it come out, preferably while swimming behind your snorkeling buddy or in front of someone you dislike. After much laughter and a lot of effort, I only slightly relieved my problem as I swam with the fishies. Drat.
The fish that the guides were feeding were only a small distraction from peepocalypse. The fish would come up to you this time and nip at your fingers until they figured out you weren’t food. We were surrounded by several schools of fish of many colors, all at once…until the need to pee took over and we scurried back into the boat. Hopefully, there would be a bathroom on lunch island.
Lunch island (ok, it’s Tortuga Island) did indeed have toilets. They cost a dollar. The guide told me I could go in the ocean for free if I wanted – ha ha. You have no idea, buddy!
I paid my dollar. In exchange, I got to pee. The toilet flushed with a hand pump. It was mystifying. I didn’t know what century I was in for a brief moment, but it brought sweet, sweet relief.
Our lunch was tasty vegetables and chicken or fish, and after that, we relaxed on the pristine beach and swam in the ocean for a while. We found a guy selling rum and coconut…water? out of coconuts. They made for delicious drinks and another guy would chop the coconut remainder out of the inside for you so you then had a fresh coconut snack. Yum!
Back at our hotel base, we made one last stop at our favorite nearby restaurant, los palmeras, with their tasty special coffee and batidos and cute doggies. I discovered that the fattest one (we named her Porkita) really likes quesadillas!
Tomorrow, it’s back to Playa Hermosa and then onward to home on Sunday 🙁